she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
