She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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