I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
