my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
