would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Tornado booty call.. dedication
When did angry sex become our thing?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
