i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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