No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
