Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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