i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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