I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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