yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
