Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
This is my gift to your gina
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
