Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
