i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
