Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
