You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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