dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
