Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
