Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
