Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
