omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
