did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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