I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
