Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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