I wannas sexs uuuuu
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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