Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
