we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
