gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
the condom got lost in my hair
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
