I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
