I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
