we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
