It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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