Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
