I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
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