you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
