Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
