Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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