omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
