***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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