just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
