This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
