I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
