We're like a lot better than the average bears
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
