You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize