Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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