It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
