Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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