everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Someone signed my nipple.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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