DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
