Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
