I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
