we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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