this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
