i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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