We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
