sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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