I am puke
my being single is dangerous.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
